Up and Down (In Sight)

On the subject of Up and Down

Do you know what it’s like to make an empowering decision? How about one that will end a toxic cycle and help you get more specific about the type of energy you want to draw near? I’m sure you do! Have you simultaneously loved and craved the very thing, person or behavior you decided to cut ties with?

If your answer is yes, I wrote Up and Down for us because honestly stress needs a good soundtrack for alleviation. Let’s dig into the background story.

I had just moved back to Brooklyn after a 9 month hiatus in Memphis. While in Memphis, I was in a poly situationship that ended in tears and relocation aka THE GHETTO. I was still emotionally involved in the relationship when I left. I still wanted them to call me. I still dreamt of them and truly loved these people that I’d been involved with but I also knew without question that I was better off far far away. 

Before I left Memphis, I was in a talent development program that felt mostly useless but did give me fun assignments to work on. The week I left town my assignment was simply to write a song on the spot, record it and share it with the class. I did the assignment from my sister friend’s apartment while lying on the floor freestyling into garageband on a bass loop I found.

After turning in my assignment, I never really thought about the song again. Until one day, I was feeling down and was listening to all the songs that were sitting on my computer as a pick me up and I stumbled across Up and Down. It was a bop. So, I started testing it out and building it during live performances.

Sometimes I write songs about what I’ve learned about myself retrospectively. Sometimes I write about what’s happening in the moment. In the case of Up and Down, it was such a quick and raw reflection of recent occurrences. Yes, I was outside the house with the car on and I had much to say. Yes, I was navigating (or avoiding) my emotions with alcohol. I was lost. But it was also such a beautiful time ! By the time I got the song out, I was truly happy! Imagine a film about this story, it’s gorgeous and I’m your favorite character because well, I wrote the soundtrack. 

Here’s the thing. These songs truly exist to offer you community. This story I’m sharing is to help you to get to know what you can do with your pain, your self judgment, your heartache. Make it something beautiful, make it something audible, tangible, delicious. Be the alchemist you are !